The truth is we all did that at some point, some are still doing that (well, this is for you). I was so guilty of that, especially during my secondary school days, I’d always wonder why I wasn’t as smart as most of my mates, I kept comparing and was never satisfied. Guess what? It didn’t help, I could have used the comparison positively but I didn’t, I mean I could have used it as a motivation to get better, instead I was checking for what they had which I did not (as if that’s what it takes…SMH). Apart from that, there were other times, I would wonder why I couldn’t just be like this other person, and it never brought positive results. I was just wallowing in the disability of being able to see the unique qualities I possess.
Just imagine comparing these two fruits, Pineapple and Watermelon, wondering why the latter isn’t as tasty as the former. The fact is each person has its unique purpose and quality, when you compare the two fruits, you should bear in mind that they possess diverse attributes and benefits that differentiates them and these has made each of them unique. Imagine if we were all the same, the world would have been overly boring. Nothing exciting, special, amusing and challenging, I mean, Life is all about these.
Now that there is a befitting introduction. These are the reasons you should stop comparing yourself to others.
DISTRACTION FROM YOUR PURPOSE AND GOALS
When you keep comparing yourself and others, you drift away from your purpose and goals. While you try to be as good as or better than someone else, you find out you want to do everything the person does. Studying a course just because someone doing very well studied the same course is a befitting example. Make choices based on what you really desire, not because you think things would turn out well when you do so.
MORE PRIVILEGED PEOPLE
There’s nothing you can do about this, some people are more privileged than others. It could be wealthier parents, social connections and even individual gifts or talents.
There is always going to be someone doing better than you and if you constantly judge yourself by those standards, you can never feel good about yourself. You might give up on your aspirations because you have lost the confidence to achieve them.
YOU CAN’T CHANGE WHO YOU ARE
You can’t. Of course, you can change every other thing (cars, hair, clothes, friends), but who you really are? No, you can’t. You are you, embrace it!
Comparing yourself with someone is bad enough, then when you compare a person’s best attributes to your worst, that’s not it at all. Each person has his/ her bad side, stop hurting yourself by comparing your worst attribute to his best. Also, you are not certain about what this person is really going through in his closet, a person’s life isn’t based on what we see every day or what they tell us. There are difficulties and challenges that someone might face but you won’t know, even if you see him every day. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.
JEALOUSY ISN’T A GOOD FEELING AND FRIENDS MIGHT TURN TO RIVALS
Jealousy isn’t a pleasing feeling, it makes you feel bad and worked up. You’re always bitter and appear unpleasant. Comparing yourself to others will bring about jealousy, if you don’t stop. Your friends might even into rivals (maybe not deliberately), for some, it could just be a twinge of jealousy. When a person you compare yourself to achieves something spectacular, even if you try, you can’t be entirely happy. You might even feel he is trying to spite when he tells you about his accomplishments. What if his accomplishment/success influences you by creating opportunities that will turn out well for you?
Letting go of comparisons will help you define success for yourself, because the only real measurement of success is yours. You should focus your time and efforts on yourself (improving yourself). Sure, you might find someone’s life interesting, but don’t try to live their life, it’s theirs, you should live yours.
A Nigerian content creator and peace specialist .