In a situation where things aren’t going on smoothly for us, we tend to embrace negativity. Believe me, I understand how things could be – having bills to pay, loss of a loved one, expectations turning into disappointments, just to mention a few.For some people, it could be a feeling of neglect – you want more, you want to feel better, you want to achieve greater things, and you’re actually putting your best, but zero. You listen to a motivational speaker and all you hear is just hold on and work hard, but that’s what you have been doing! How long should it take?
I don’t plan to give a list on what to do to get what you want. Realistically, we all have needs and the best thing is to support each other, at least this will kill the loneliness vibe you could be getting and realise you are not alone.
After I bagged my first degree, I expected things to be sweet, literally. I had imagined several things while in school – get a high paying job, start a business for an extra income, buy a car, travel around the world for work and vacation – ordinarily, these should be my expectations, right? Yes, I agree but the thing is I expected them to start happening after I graduated, immediately. Just imagine.
I stayed at home for a whole year, doing nothing (I started my blog, yeah, that’s something). My expectations weren’t forthcoming. I was getting close to being depressed, I would cry and cry. I thought I was failing at 21! Why? I had expectations! No one told me it isn’t easy out here. I thought education was all I needed. Then, I embraced negativity, I didn’t see any good in nearly everything. I wanted more.
Here are 6 ways I learned to get rid of negativity. Positivity is all we need, it might not cough out what we need or want, but it will root out the things we really should be grateful for.
1. Be grateful for what you have.
You know you have a lot to be grateful for, right? A family that cares, a roof over your head, food, life, friends. If you’re like me – bad at making and sustaining friendships – at least, you have a few you can call yours and are genuine. What about past achievements? These are things to be grateful for. Most times, having people who truly love and care for you keeps you going. I realized I was ungrateful at that time – I have parents that are ready to support me in any way and a few friends that bring out the best in me. Whatever I need or desire is just a matter of time. Whatever situation I am passing through is just a matter of time. I have a lot to be grateful for and so do you.
2. Spend more time with people who uplift and make you happy.
This cannot be overemphasized. The truth is being alone kills most times! Not literally though, but you get the point? Great. I cherish my alone time, but really, there are times you need to get out and spend time with family and friends. This isn’t because it might make you forget about your ordeal for a little time, but because it will make you appreciate life more. Being with people you love enables you to appreciate the things that truly matter. From my experience, being alone makes things worse, I’d keep thinking and tears would find its way to my ‘fresh’ face again. Those thoughts dare not find you when you are with the people who make you happy.
3. Analyze the situation reasonably.
This has to do with rooting out the good in the bad – you ask yourself questions; “What can I learn from this? What step can I take to solve the issue?” These are the right questions to ask, not “why is this happening to me?” Who do you think it should happen to? That won’t solve anything anyway. So, why not bring out the positivity in the situation? For me, I decided to hone my writing skill and bring my passion to inspire to life, through my blog. If I had secured a job, I might have not been able to start the blog- due to a busy schedule. I enrolled in music lessons and picked up the saxophone at that period. You see the year wasn’t a waste?
4. Engage in activities that make you happy.
There is something you could spend the whole day doing and not realise how much time you have spent on it. If that thing is void of your pleasure, trust me, you’d always check the time or take a long break. So, now that you get the point and probably have one or two in mind, get to it.
5. Take care of yourself!
Yes I added this and it might sound cliché, but it is so needed. Don’t starve yourself, you deserve to stay nourished and healthy for the good times ahead. Don’t hesitate in going out to see a movie with friends (in line with the 2nd point), shopping, traveling, and so on. You have yourself, take care of you, nobody else will. You’ll exude confidence and happiness when you do. Wearing my favourite perfume makes me more confident, I wonder why, but I like it! Sleep, eat and stay happy.
6. Add positivity and value to other people.
I shouldn’t stress this one, I’d just give an example. Each time I publish a post and receive comments on the positivity I spread, it gladdens my heart. At that period, nothing else matters. Spread positivity around, it flows back to you too.
You could be going through a worse situation, trust me on this, you’ll be fine. Change is one constant element. And the good part? Things will only get better. Embrace positivity. Negativity has no hold on you. Rule your world!
Have you ever been in a terrible situation? How did you cope? What other way(s) do you suggest? Please, share your thoughts in the comments section. I’d love to hear from you.