There’s no gainsaying to the fact relationships are an integral part of our lives, we develop relationships with people on professional, friendships or marital level. For this article, the focus is set on the marital aspect.
I am of the opinion that the older generation had (and probably still have) little or no idea as to what a relationship entailed. Most of them got married through match-making, which you dare not try in this present generation. It’s rather surprising that most of those marriages worked out well.
Well, so many things have changed now. One could say as at that time, women had the uttermost respect for their parents’ decisions (especially, the father). No chance to counter anything, just nod in agreement and carry on.
Now, let’s drive our attention to the 21st century (our time), we have the luxury of making decisions which undoubtedly could make or mar our journey in life. One of these decisions is the choice of who to marry. People make their choices but still, the rate of divorce and broken homes is on a high level. Why? Does this imply the old method (match-making) is appropriate?
Sure, some of these match-made marriages might have not worked out, but you’ll agree with me that the rate of broken marriages these days are more than that of the ancient times.
When I gained admission into the university, I remember my mom advised that I stay away from the opposite sex till my 3rd year. Honestly, I didn’t know why, and did I heed to the advice? Maybe, maybe not.
Most people go into a relationship for different reasons. Financial aid, boredom, loneliness, love, insecurity and covetousness are reasons I know. Without a doubt, a relationship based on love is sure to last longer and possibly lead to marriage.
In so far as a relationship is healthy and the parties involved are happy, marriage is feasible. What do I mean by a healthy relationship? Well, let’s deal with what an unhealthy relationship consists of, I am sure you’ll depict what a healthy relationship is all about.
DISCLAIMER: I am not a relationship expert but from my experience, stories and happenings around me, I understand what makes a relationship worth it and what doesn’t.
5 SIGNS OF AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
An unhealthy relationship should definitely not lead to marriage, so here are 5 reasons that relationship is a dead-end. In other words, marriage shouldn’t be considered.
This has to be the first because of how much it gets to me. It’s disturbing how people join forces to bring children into the world to suffer. They aren’t even left out, running helter- skelter and paying medical bills regularly.
I understand how love can make us think and react, but then, we make decisions because of the future. In making decisions, thinking of our present life without considering what such decision will present to our future is a terrible move.
From another perspective, remember God’s will for us is never bad, right? He will never want such bad situation for you. Your genotypes are not a match for a reason, don’t get married. And if you still want to get on with it, don’t make babies, please. Before getting on that relationship ride, know your genotypes, this keeps you in check (a relationship or just friendship).
Domestic violence/Consistent beating.
Have you ever heard a lady say her significant other beating her is a sign of love towards her? I think she must have received a large amount of beating from their parents while she was younger. And she was always been told it’s because of their love towards her.
It is a general belief that if a man raises his hand against a woman, even if he apologizes, there’s every chance he would repeat it over and over again. With his constant apologies, forgiveness flows. This is what keeps most women quiet until they can no longer take it.
Domestic violence is rampant in our society that it leaves me wondering what could have gone wrong. If there is any sign of violence, please walk away.
No one deserves to be beaten in a relationship. No one.
So, it happens once, you forgive and then again and again. That’s domestic violence in its emotional form, you know? It has turned into a habit and trust me, it won’t stop, at least, not easily.
The mistake most people engage in is thinking in a possibly magical way, they would change this person. From my little experience in this journey called life, you can’t enforce change on any one, they would change IF they want, not because you want it.
Unfortunately, some pretend to change for a while and by the time they start again, it seems irredeemable. No one deserves such bad omen.
This comes in different forms;
- Constant cheating
- Using foul and abusive languages for your family, friends and yourself
- Constant emotional torture – Causing tears every now and then
The way this is mistaken for love is terrifying, they are way different from each other. The inability to stay away from someone to the extent of stalking and knowing each and every one he/she speaks to/with is not love! It is unhealthy and pure obsession. The scary part is they would rather kill than let the person go. How does that depict love in any way?
Common features of obsession includes unhealthy jealousy, engaging in illegal and hazardous acts to get the person, intolerance of the opposite sex as friends and a high level of insecurity.
Extra point: The person you’re in a relationship with is married. What are you looking or hoping for? Even if he/she says love doesn’t expect in his or her marriage, it doesn’t make it right.
There you have it, my top 5 reasons why a relationship should be put to an end. What other reasons do you know? What does a healthy relationship entail? Please, share your thoughts. THANK YOU.