15 Valentine’s Day Riddles & Jokes

February 14, 2017

So, it’s Valentine’s Day and probably most of you have set plans for the day, going out on dates, giving and receiving gifts while some of us would just enjoy the comfort of our home, and shower ourselves with some self-love (very needed). For me, it’s gonna be some self-love and some love for my friends and families. Lol, how true is the fact that most guys break up with their girlfriends some days to the Valentine’s? If you are short of cash, just explain to her, you don’t need to break hearts. Sharing of gifts shouldn’t be one-sided either, I’m sure you got the point.

Personally, I’m not good at providing gift ideas or some date ideas for this day, so I decided to come up with something fun! Guess what it is…of course you can, by the title of the post. Having a good laugh coupled with some other lovey-dovey activities isn’t a bad idea, so let’s get in!

NOTE: I got every one of these riddles and jokes on the internet, none of them is my idea. So, enjoy!


  1. During college, I worked on 
a conveyor belt. One day, I was on a blind date, and she asked me about my job.
    “I work at the end of a belt,” I said.

With an ebullient smile, she asked, “Are you the buckle?”


  1. Why should you never breakup with a goalie?

Because he’s a keeper.


  1. Boy: Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?

Girl: Yes, February 14th.


  1. What did one boat say to the other? “Are you up for a little row-mance?”


  1. What did the guy with the broken leg say to his nurse? “I’ve got a crutch on you.”


  1. What did the cat say to his Valentine?
    “You’re purr-fect for me!”


  1. What did the bear say to his Valentine?
    “I love you beary much!”


  1. What did the girl sheep say back to the boy sheep?
    “You’re not so baaaa-d yourself!”


  1. Why did the cannibal break up with his Valentine?
    She didn’t suit his taste!


  1. What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has a date on Valentine’s Day.


  1. What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse? “I’ve got a crutch on you!”


  1. Knock, knock!
    Who’s there?
    Emma who?
    Emma hoping I’ll get lots of Valentine cards!


  1. What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit on Valentine’s Day?
    Somebunny likes you!


  1. A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him     what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine Body signed, ‘Guess who?’

“But why?” asks the man.

“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.


  1. What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
    “I love you with all my art!”

tinukeaweP.S. This post is a little behind schedule, I’ve had a busy time these few days. But better late than never, right?




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